"the beauty of music...

...as the ability to speak where words fail."

so true. ever since accepting my admissions into grad school, i've been recently wondering how music will ever play a part in my future. whenever anyone asks if i could be doing anything, what it would be, it's usually one of the following: composing for and playing in the hollywood symphony, teaching piano or violin, or coaching for michigan athletics. 

considering the fact that i'm not really all that athletic at least enough to pass NCAA's standards for coaching a D1 team, i suppose the last one is out of the question. but given my passions for music, how does that ever relate back to healthcare? and if  it doesn't, am i making the wrong moves in going to grad school? i don't know.. but i do know that God is the one who's opening doors and so i'm just taking leaps of faith forward. no revolutionary revelations here for now. 

anyway, i came here to share with you about this interesting video that i recently came across. no new ideas, but definitely some thoughts to mull over. 

"music compels us to remember our shared common humanity... the deeply communal, connected consciousness, the empathic consciousness that is hard wired into our brain's right hemisphere. for those living in the most dehumanizing conditions of mental illness within homelessness and incarceration, the beauty of music allows them to transcend the world around them. to remember that they still have the capacity to experience something beautiful, and that humanity has not forgotten them. and the spark of that beauty and humanity transforms into hope. we know whether we choose the path of music or medicine, that's the very first thing we must instill within our communities if we want to inspire healing from within." 

whoa. that's inspirational. 

"to send light into the darkness of men's hearts such is the duty of artists." - Robert Gupta

let it shine, let it shine, let it shine. 

march madness

march was hiatus month, and now it's april. it was not an intentional hiatus, though i do think it was much needed. amongst an extraordinarily busy month, being sick the entire month leaving little energy to think, and decisions to make flying left and right, i found myself needing silence and personal space with God when i did have availability for me time. sometimes it's better to just keep my thoughts to myself and a select few who are closest to me when i'm processing through things, i suppose. 

this week, a big decision is finally wrapping up and coming to an end. it's been one big crazy and amazing God Journey. perhaps there will be an update soon about it, but otherwise... just ask me and we can meet up sometime... personally, i think sharing it in person is much more powerful.

today was the first day in a long time i'm experiencing: silence. stillness. it's weird. i don't think i like it... or at least, i'm not used to it. like, i kind of want to cry for some odd unknown reason. but i don't think it's sadness? maybe the emotions are finally hitting me from how overwhelmed i've been by God's love?

currently feeling: withdrawal. from the busy month of preparations for easter and tumultuous decisions, i suppose. also, uncertainty. about the future. i'm. really. scared. but at the same time, i look back at these last three months and know that God has been so close to me-- he's been so incredibly faithful and blessed me unconditionally and abundantly. this much i know is true.

though the main theme of 2013 thus far has been a ginormous lesson in surrender and commitment, i still feel as though there's still so much to learn in these two areas. i still don't understand what it takes to surrender literally everything-- as faithful as God has been these last three months, it's still hard to trust God in knowing that his plans for my future are so much better than mine. and i still fear commitment... but as i have committed indefinitely to what God is doing in Ann Arbor at the beginning of this year, the decision is made-- and this is where it gets scary. to "have the courage to fail big, and stick around." ........okay, yes. got it.

"Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The Lord your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the desert. There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place. The Lord your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything." (Deut. 1:29-31, 2:7)

this is our God, and i must continue to depend on Him and trust Him in everything. 
well, that's all for now. stay tuned for another update!


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oh, and what a privilege it has been that as i've been relearning this lesson to actually be able to share with others that God has been "By My Side" in this way on Sunday: