Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.
I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing
But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.
And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you
Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you
Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering
sara groves = the best companion to usher and accompany me to my morning meetings with God.
according to the personality profile quiz posted by the New York Times, i'm "culturally curious." this means: You are culturally adventurous in all walks of life and love to explore different avenues of tastes and trends. Because your body is also important to you, you look for flavors that are unusual but still healthy and delicious, and you are constantly on the lookout for the next food trend. Your love of all things arty often shines through in your bright, intelligent conversation and your traditionalist nature is often reflected in your tastes and style. You are an emotional spirit and you make really strong connections. Good friends and lots of laughs are the recipe for really happy days. And nights!
You're sophisticated and inquisitive with a real passion for art and culture. You pride yourself on being an early adopter of the latest music and films and always like to have a good book on the go. Your ability to bring together very diverse and even dissenting opinions is rooted in your appreciation for all points of view. You believe in immersing yourself in interesting experiences that make you look at people, places and opportunities from new angles. Being sensitive and creative you want to feel connected to the world around you and actively seek out opportunities to explore it. It's all about broadening your horizons and living life to the full. Anything else would not fulfill your curious nature. You're a bit of a dreamer at heart. But there's nothing wrong with that.
hmm, i guess that actually is pretty accurate...
...the business in me to make a 5 minute song and dance rant and then i will be silenced from disinteresting you with this nonsense. feel free to skip this post if you so please.
within the last year and a half, i have turned down a number more than one job offers, each which pay exponentially more than the one i'm at currently, and two of which were promotions from the position i was currently in. friends, mentors, and family have all voiced their opinions telling me i was crazy to do such a thing. many times, i doubted my own decisions too.
but i finally found affirmation today in Forbes' article, "Why You Shouldn't Take That Promotion":
"while it might make me more money, moving up on a path I couldn't stand would only be taking me further from the path I was hoping for."
AMEN. THANK YOU, meghan casserly! while i received peace in my previous decisions to turn down offers, i have been searching for some sort of secular, "real-world" evidence affirming that it is not insane to turn down offers for higher-paid positions. all i wanted was to have a stronger argument than a mere spiritual reason, "God told me so in a prayer" (even though i guess spiritual reasons should be the strongest). to know that "real" people out there do this kind of stuff too, with good reason.
anyways, she pretty much rephrases the God-speak to make it relevant for all, whether you're a Christ believer or not. yes, you might be moving up in your career, but no, that is not the path for you. and in the long run, it will hurt you more than make you happy. (this sound similar to something described as God's will for us? something along the lines of, "if it's out of God's will, you'll pay the consequences. so be faithful.") "most of us are very flattered when we get offered a promotion and often that comes with the dangling carrot of more money, but will more money make you happy? where is your career headed? will you be up to the task? what are your priorities? - karen freidman
guilty as charged again.
so the article gives a list of reasons why not to take a promotion (or in fact, a new job offer). they're pretty biblical. a few in particular resonated in me:
- Reason 1. Because the promotion will keep you from the right opportunity. Freidman likens the career path to a board game: “To win, you have to be a step or two ahead of your opponent. In your career, if you’re looking forward, a promotion might bring you a short term windfall or growth but it might not take you to the top of the ladder or worse–to the top of the wrong ladder.” Look at your goals.
- Reason 2. Because the promotion doesn't mesh with your personal life. Decide if the promotion is the right opportunity at the right time.
- Reason 3. Because the promotion is set up for failure. (self explanatory. been there, done that.)
Affirmed. it IS okay to say no. i can finally sleep well tonight, and i love my current job and wouldn't rather be anywhere else. so think twice again before saying yes to that paycheck.
...and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings, these are a few of my favorite things...
another rainy day here in the crisp michigan fall. but i think this is the first time in a long while where i'm not feeling heavily downcast when the weather turns on me. for a while i was getting somewhat concerned and considering getting clinically tested for Seasonal Affect Disorder, haha. as soon as the first bead of rain dropped, my mood took an immediate 180 for the worse regardless of how good my day was going. not so today!
i guess its just another indication that this period of silence from social media is having its therapeutic effects of recovery :) today, i am reminded of my fictional role model in life, mary poppins. she was never a negative nancy. guess i should continue to strive to be like her in all areas!
"when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when i'm feeling sad, i simply remember my favorite things, and then i don't feel so bad!" ~maria
(dang, julie andrews really lived my dream of being the two characters i admire most!!)
i decided to take a temporary break from social media.
the duration of this break is indefinite, but since i began,
the last few days have been amazingly peaceful and quiet.
i didn't realize how much white noise it created in my life until now.
i like this-- catch me in person instead. :o)
perhaps it won't be a temporary break...
sometimes you just need to be a little bit selfish.
and linger in the presence of another for as long as is needed.
today, i'm not feeling all that guilty. :)
as i stare out my window at work through the window strewn with beads of rain, i came to the sudden realization that this picture was very representative of how i'm currently feeling. the general feeling is kind of downcast like the weather. the cactus plant is me, inside and isolated from the rain, perhaps thirsty. so close to the downpour, but yet unable to experience it. self-sufficient on its own soil and water supply that is running low. nearby, hope stands, a reminder that perhaps a glimmer of sunlight will come again tomorrow.
LORD, i need you.
---
hide me now, under Your wings. cover me, within Your mighty hand. when the oceans rise and thunders roar, i will soar with You above the storm. Father, You are King over the flood, I will be still and know You are God. find rest, my soul, in Christ alone. know His power, in quietness and trust.
i'm always trying to think of ways to put my passion for food to use. recently, i walked into a very cute local pie shop the next town over, and it just had this warm welcoming feeling of home. as i browsed the variety of pies sitting behind the glass display after i ordered my slice of french silk pie with a cup of local michigan cherry coffee, the inspiration came for this DJF post.
the secret: it's not difficult to make a delicious pie crust and pie filling. the technique for any pie is the same. with a punch of passion, kick of creativity, and bit of inspiration, it's possible to whip out a counter full of delicious pies. and the fun part comes in here: tweaking the ingredients to create a variety of different pies, and using your artistic mind to determine how you're going to present it: a lattice work, cutouts, crumb toppings-- the options are endless.
the more i thought about it, the more i wanted to bake an apple pie in honor of the coming of autumn and the abundance of apples in michigan. always intimidated by lattice work and pie dough, i was taking a risk by altering this crust recipe to make it healthier with some butter modifications. it didn't turn out that bad! it came out of the oven looking decently presentable... i just hope the crust hasn't lost too much of its flakiness due to the butter substitution. welp, at least now i can totally have my pie and eat it too!
Your love, oh Lord, reaches to the heavens / Your faithfulness, stretches to the sky / Your righteousness, is like the mighty mountains / Your justice flows like the ocean's tide / I will lift my voice to worship You, my King / I will find my strength in the shadow of your wings
As I drove into work this morning, this Third Day song from Psalms 36/37 that was part of my QT this morning sang on repeat in my head. All I wanted was to have breakfast to catch up with a friend of mine this morning, but she challenged me to wake up early to go to mp with her beforehand. It ended up being a SUPER amazing morning, with both God and with my friend.
I'm by NO means a morning person, and if you've been my roommate in the past, you'll be able to testify to how inhumanely grumpy I am in the mornings when I wake up, especially when it's an early kind of morning. This is why being at mp with a heart of privilege and thanksgiving has always been a big big challenge for me. But today, despite my exhaustion and tiredness (and cold-ness since the crisp michigan fall mornings have turned to frosty wintery mornings already), it was just a morning filled with God's presence and power. As I rolled into work this morning, I just feel like I have this sense of uncontainable joy and almost feeling confidently invincible... not by my own strength though, but God's strength working within me. I was just filled with this overwhelming sense of awe of who God is and how faithful he has been in my life and the lives of others around me. "How priceless is your unfailing love!" (Ps 36:7)
One thing this friend shared with me over breakfast was the image of being a "fragrant offering". As we talked and tried to figure out what it really means to live a life that is a fragrant offering (Eph 5:1-2), the image of a glass jar that has been filled with a fragrant aroma that is shattered into many pieces refracting the light that shines on it came to mind, and that aroma once the jar is shattered just diffuses boundlessly. What a beautiful image to strive towards in our brokenness! And later in Ephesians 5:8-13, it says: For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them... But everything exposed by the light becomes visible-- and everything that is illuminated becomes a light." Wowweee, I am so blown away this morning!
And one last song I wanted to share called, "A Fragrant Offering", by Rita Springer
(Listen here)
I bring to you a fragrant offering
I pour out my love and I wash your feet
I offer up to you oh Lord this brokenness
What you can see in me shall be my confidence
May it be a pleasing fragrance
That I bring to you oh my Lord
I am so in need of your presence
That I bow before you now
I pour my vial of worship over you (2x)
I bring to you a humble sacrifice
I pour out my heart and I give you my life
I offer up to you oh Lord this costly gift
And with absolute abandon now
My love I confess
