when i first heard the news from her that she was going to adopt a baby from china, it was easy to jump to conclusions in my mind, thinking, "oh! asian babies are pretty cute... and usually they turn out pretty smart." not a bad choice, right?
well, i judged too soon. she continued to explain that her daughter has a cleft lip and palate, an obviously visible facial deformation. her daughter would have a minimum of 5 surgeries in her life-- 2 in her first year home, then at ages 5, 8, and 16. regular appointments to the ENT, surgeon, dentist, orthodontist, and speech therapist, will be the standard routine. the development of her speech would be delayed, and she will have a lot of difficulty sucking on a bottle and learning to eat. her abandonment at the orphanage as an infant also deeply wounded with trust issues that would affect her for the course of her life, making it difficult for my friend to develop a strong mother-baby bond.
knowing all this now, would you willingly adopt a daughter like this?
to be completely honest, when i first heard the whole story, i really admired her compassion and courage to willingly chose to adopt a child so obviously imperfect. but i thought to myself, "never would i choose to do that." as i started hearing more about her story, i became really humbled because so often we wonder what we'd do if we had a deformed child. we beg God to give us a healthy baby. "Please, God, no deformities or disabilities for our child."
but as she courageously forged forward and continued to share honestly about her difficult journey with me, God started changing my heart too. through her tears, tiredness, frustration, and sometimes even anger, i saw that she didn't do it because she wanted to be a good person. she didn't do it because she wanted another child. she did it out of a pure, deep love for the unlovable, that comes only first from understanding God's love for her. she shared her friend's blog post with me that disclosed the full truth of adoption. the unglorified reality that we often never see.
had she never shared so honestly, i think i would've continued to think that adoption was just something good people with extraordinarily kind hearts did. or just another option for parents who couldn't conceive. in my ignorance, i would've just patted her on the back, and continued to support her as her friend. but hearing about the hardships and struggles actually helped me to see God's heart for these children behind the "fairy-tale ending" exteriors. bringing back her daughter wasn't the "happily ever after ending"-- it was only the beginning of what would be a grueling daily battle for her family.
she voluntarily chose the imperfect over the perfect. she committed her entire future to invest in bringing her new daughter out of the hopeless and depressing orphanage into a new life where she could experience healing, freedom, and love.
that's exactly what Jesus did for me. why wouldn't i be His hands and feet to try to offer that same opportunity to someone His children?
praying for the opportunity to adopt in the future.
"In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and his will-- to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of His glory." ~Ephesians 1:5-6, 11-12
Jesus brought the healing power of LOVE to us when we were still orphans.
(video from: Love Without Boundaries ...check them out and support a child today!)
(video from: Love Without Boundaries ...check them out and support a child today!)
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