the daily grind

until this year, i always enjoyed working... i did whatever i wanted to do, followed my passion, and the money followed in abundance. i never thought once about "making money", but rather the only thing i ever thought about was "i love doing this and want to do more". since 8th grade, i spent at least 5-6 hours outside of school "working" (which was essentially every moment outside of school), but i never even thought of it as "work". i packed my schedule, sacrificed my sleep and averaged 4 hours a night, with doing these things that i just loved to do. but it never felt like a "sacrifice". i did it because i loved it, and i couldn't get enough of it. i jumped on every opportunity to do more of it, accepting more clients and more students. before the age of 20, i had already experienced running my own company managing more than 30 employees and negotiating contracts with important clients from fortune 500 companies, taught weekly private lessons to more than 20 students, and worked on wall street... all of which never felt like a job to me. i did it because i loved the work, and money was only an "extra incentive".

is this just a new stage of life that i'm entering into? adjusting to "the daily grind"? does it have to be this way, not exciting? do i feel this way only because i now feel like i "have" to be generating some sort of income to be able to support myself so work feels like work and isn't appealing? or am i not at the right job? am i not taking enough risks and doing my own thing like i used to?

im tempted to jump ship and start do my own thing. now, at my current job, while i love it and it is aligned with my long-term goals, and i can even see the reason why i'm there right now, even though it provides "stability", i feel constrained. i feel like it's not letting me reach my potential, not letting me achieve my dreams. it's not fulfilling my hungry entrepreneur spirit. i want more. i want to dream big and do big things for the world. i want to travel and see the nations. i believe it could happen, but i am a pansy and am scared to be bold and take the risk... and as the days go on, i feel myself growing complacent... compromising on my dreams for comfort.......