earlier this week, i made a pretty big personal commitment for 2011. while i dont feel comfortable disclosing the details of this commitment on the internet, feel free to ask me next time we run into each other and i'd be happy to share the details. through making the decision, here are some thoughts i have to share:
1) the calm after the storm. after a rough time of testing follows a period of peace and clarity. the two weeks after returning from thanksgiving, i had no desire to be in ann arbor, no motivation to do anything, and just the desire to listen to my own voice and follow my own dreams. but then i was rebuked of how little faith i had to endure times of trial and hardship... and God brought clarity. rainbows can't be made unless sunlight follows after the rain.
2) it's possible to like something, and do it well, but not want to do it. when an inconsistency such as this happens, don't ignore it and do as you feel and ride the day-to-day emotional roller coaster. reconcile the discord by discerning what's going on. separate the emotions from the facts, and dig deeper into your heart to trace the root of what's underlying those emotions. then obey the voices that are speaking the truth to you by taking a leap of faith, and make a commitment.
3) press on towards the goal. more testing will follow the commitment. but keep in mind 1 Peter 1:7: "...so that the proven genuineness of your faith-- of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-- may result in praise, glory, and honor when jc is revealed." now that the commitment has been made though, hold tight to it. don't give up, even though it's easy.
walking through the fire will refine you into the purest gold. the process of purification is repetitive, often time-consuming, and is intense. Elijah recognized this in 1 Kings 17. he prayed for a drought, and God saw it fitting to answer his prayer. through this, He led Elijah into a lesson of faith and provided food and shelter for him. however, when the river dried up as a result of the drought, the purification process being refined in the fire was intensified. while trusting the widow that God provided to be his provision, something he may not have expected, he still obeyed, and the Lord blessed him abundantly.
as we're put through the heat and our faith is tested, if we think the intensity is too much for us, we'll never make it through. our human desire is to give up, retreat, and take the easier, more secure path. but in the fire, as the pressure of refinement is intense, the impurities deep within our hearts are surfaced and removed over time. as we journey through the purification process, its often easy to question the persecution God puts us through. little do we realize until later, that God was trying to bless us all along with the thing we thought was the curse.
it's so easy to give up and doubt our convictions when the second round of testing comes. already, less than a week after i made this commitment for 2011, i've experienced the testing of "what-ifs": what if He doesn't provide? what if this is more stable? what if i could do this well and be successful? what if i really do enjoy this and could do it forever? then i remember the peace i experienced when i received my calling earlier, and have to tell myself that such thoughts are foolish.
it won't be easy to obey, but for You i will.
No comments:
Post a Comment