compromise

ever think to yourself, "if only i had 2 more hours in the day, life would be perfect"? today, i seriously caught myself counting the seconds in the day, because i didn't feel like 24 hours was enough. i was so exhausted i couldn't even keep my eyes open... in fact, here's a secret: i dismissed myself from my desk to catch 5 minutes of shut-eye in the bathroom stall. terrible, i know, but that's how toasted i felt.

and here's the dilemma i find myself wrestling with: where do you draw the line to define "perfect balance"? i'd like to be a good steward at work, but outside of work, i have other commitments that i would like to also faithfully live out. unfortunately, i feel like my work is always fighting for time in the evenings (after the 7-5:30 designated work hours), and when i have to stay up late to finish work because i refuse to compromise by flaking out on my outside-work commitments, then my quality of work during the 7-5:30 hours get compromised too. i hate that "c" word. i hate to believe that it is exists.

however, i am a firm believer that my personal values and quality of life should never be compromised as a result of my job, and believe there exists a job that each is called to (ecclesiastes 5:19) where there is no toil and we can fine pure joy and purpose in our lives. therefore, it really bothers me when i result to compromising these things that should be compromised for my job. again, i hate that "c" word. i hate to believe that it is exists.

it also kills me when people tell me, "you're only one person. you can only do so much." i always felt like they were smothering my dreams when i heard it. can't you live out every aspect of your life fully? but is there some truth to this statement? ugh. this is something i refuse to believe, but unfortunately... i'm at a loss for arguments this week. i feel defeated by a new word in my life: compromise.

question: did Jesus ever get tired? seems like he did a pretty darn good job balancing his work with his rest.