appreciate

this morning, i received a short but sweet e-mail from a fellow co-worker from our ohio hospital. her mere two sentences in this message expressed her appreciation for my help. her simple offering of gratitude-- something more elaborate than a simple "thanks", but nothing extravagant-- made this a very meaningful e-mail that i had received all year.

perhaps it was because i've become accustomed to our hospital's bleak culture of not receiving any positive reinforcement and even worse, not getting any respect as the lowly new analyst. throughout this past year working here, they've taught me to adapt to the mentality of "it's not about what i do or can do, but about being faithful to what they expect me to do." though there have been many times when i complain to others outside of here, but regardless of how difficult the job is, i've learned to grit my teeth here and maintain a willing and positive attitude even though deep down inside all i wanted to do was put in my two weeks notice. even in the corporate context, i keep reminding myself that it's not about me. for me, it's to be a representation of God's love to my co-workers, and for my co-workers, it's about the CEO. in either perspective, it's still not about me.

so, i continue to be kind and offer thanks to my co-workers, trying to help whenever needed doing whatever i can, and never expecting any of my kindness or work to be reciprocated. which is why, the last thing i expected this morning was this e-mail thanking me not only for the specific task that she needed me to do for her, but also for my continued hard work and her appreciation for how much i made her job easier. this e-mail stopped me in my tracks and caused me to reflect for a moment. my work hasn't been done in vain, and it hadn't gone unnoticed (at least with her) either. her attitude of appreciation changed my perspective today. my position did serve some purpose even though it may still be minimal and even though i felt underappreciated and useless.

it was enough. just making the life of one person better makes it worth while.