essence of gifting

it always bothers me how gifts are so commonly given out of obligation or courtesy. the scramble to find the perfect gift before a person's birthday, the excel spreadsheets that are created during christmas time to determine who already got who what gift, purchasing a wedding gift off a registry because you were invited and are attending (or sometimes even unable to attend). these are only a few examples of the most common "gifting" occasions-- where often, the original meaning and purpose behind gifting has been lost.

one thing my parents did differently as we were growing up was not gifting at times of expectation. cards were still exchanged at the important milestones-- birthdays, graduations, and at christmas. however, growing up in a comfortable upper-middle class family, we were taught to never expect any gifts. sometimes we received small gifts, other times we received a generous heaping of presents, but most commonly-- we received no gifts at all during these times.

i can't remember ever having an issue with not getting anything or feeling left out because my other friends at school could talk about what they received for christmas. i must have been too filled with thankfulness to worry about not receiving any gifts or something... or maybe i just didn't care enough, i don't know. but i was thankful that my family didn't need to give each other gifts to appreciate one another. thankful that when we did receive gifts, we weren't appreciating the fact that they got us something we liked, but the people themselves. the gift isn't what counts. perhaps that was my parents' intention in doing that.

all this isn't to say i dislike gifts though-- who doesn't like gifts? thoughtful gifts-- the ones that take time and thought-- are the ones that have the greatest value though. giving gifts are the perfect way to bless someone, but all i'm saying is the next time you buy something for someone, remember that you don't have to.. and remember the real reason why we give: to simply bless others, not because we should.

i think the best gifts are the unexpected ones of generosity. this past christmas, i didn't receive any presents. however, two mornings ago, i woke up to an e-mail in my inbox that said, "thanks for being an excellent daughter. please check your bank account for a small token of our thanks." it was something that was completely undesevered-- but through my parents, i have learned so much more about the two most important gifts: generosity and grace.