lent day 1: convenience

so lent day 1 already ended, and we are fast onto day 2. something i've been learning is that living a life that declares a lifelong followership of Christ is one that will not be convenient. ever. sorry God that i ever thought that. i don't think anyone ever told or promised me that it would be, but somewhere in my early years of faith i think it was assumed that i could still live a convenient life while following Christ... and of course, remnants of that stuck with me till now.

yesterday, on ash wednesday, it became so apparent that living a life of convenience was so wrong. several of my coworkers attended ash wednesday services on their lunch hour, and returned to the clinic blessed. as i was leaving work around 9pm, one of my coworkers asked if i had the opportunity to make it to lenten services. she said she was so busy she couldn't afford to leave in the middle of the work day. since my church doesn't have special services, i didn't think that i had anything to attend. but in that moment, i realized i hadn't spent time with God that day either, and even more, it isn't about attending services.

so often i try to find excuses to not attend meetings due to inconvenience-- whether it's for work, to meet a friend, or a church gathering / service. life today is all about convenience. i have a smartphone and text because it's convenient and allows me to multitask. i schedule back-to-back appointments because it's easier to get it all done at once. but not often enough do we ever stop to realize that life isn't about convenience and meetings. it's about the relationships. and when you're in a relationship, cathy, you better be ready to be inconvenienced.

when did you think meeting with God would be convenient, cathy? if everything was always out of convenience, your relationship with God would be non-existent. you'd miss all the blessings. convenience puts the individual control, and God doesn't work out of convenience.

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on another topic, i got legit rebuked by my dad last night. i don't think i've ever heard him speak so sternly to me since my naive childhood days. i told him about my car situation, the suspension falling apart, how i haven't had it checked out yet, how i'm still driving it, and how every time i drive over a bump greater than 1 inch i fear for my own life, hoping that the suspension won't give out on me. i squeezed 19 years out of my last car, so 15 years still seems too early to exchange cars. as a chassis engineer, i'm sure he knows way more than i do about suspension safety, but i'm just not ready to let go of my current car yet. if it wasn't 11:30pm when i spoke with him, he may have driven to aa to take my keys away from me, like a teenager caught staying out past curfew. sorry dad for infuriating you... i promise to get my car checked out... soon...