so its interesting, b/c i get intense discipled by my co-workers and bosses every day at work. more than getting professionally discipled, i feel like it's been been a humbling experience when i realize that most of my co-workers have lived at least twice my life, most of them, three times. they've already had a full career and retired, or at least at the end of their careers, and i'm only at the beginning of mine. some of them are old enough to be my grandparents-- it's awesome. so what do i know about life and people? absolutely nothing.
so i trade them my knowledge-- most of the time, not even related to my degree that's worth 6 digits, nor the job opportunities that i've forgone who were willing to pay me back the 6 digit degree. i trade my fundamental knowledge on how to turn on a computer, print from a computer, my other advantages from having grown up during the tech boom, in turn for life advice. in a sense, i guess its worth it.
from another perspective, i don't know why in the world my boss would have ever thought it was a good idea to trust me to my position. i've barely entered my 20's, barely understand life-- actually, i don't, and here i am shaping the career perspectives of pharmacy and medical students and managing the delivery of care with physicians. it kind of worries me-- what am i shaping these people to become? and who am i to tell these physicians and pharmacists anything?
anyways. tonight one of my pharmacy interns made one of our patients cry. not cry, hyperventilate. it wasn't his fault-- she misunderstood him, and felt that we were trying to ask her to leave our clinic. (TOTALLY not our mission.) i went in to talk to her, and it didn't help at all. the damage had been done-- she stormed out of her exam room. by the time the nurse went in to see her, she was hyperventilating, and couldn't even communicate with the nurse. since it was interfering with our ability to deliver care effectively to the patient, our clinic coordinator had to go in to see her to calm her down, and before she went in, she came to get my side of the story. after we got her to calm down so that she would at least listen to what we were telling her, i sat with her for another 30 minutes as she was waiting for the doctor in the exam room. then the story came.
she was being sued by a private practice in the area, because she had an unpaid $70,000 bill when she had a heart attack 6 years ago. she was going to court next week, she lost her house, was forced to move home with her parents who are both mentally ill, and she lost her best friend last november. in other words, she is homeless. of course no one wants to be friends with someone who was homeless. no physicians cared enough to listen to her, only rushed her out of their office after quickly reassuring her that her symptoms were not serious enough for them to show concern. the problem: she didn't want a diagnosis-- all she wanted was to be heard and cared for. something that no one else in this world had been able to offer her. no wonder she felt unloved when she came in tonight!
we've turned healthcare into a business over the years. we've lost the CARE in healthCARE. it's a healthbusiness. it's sad, it's disgusting. what was absolutely shocking though was when i tried to offer her truth from the Word. rather than reassuring her, i read a parable to her. then she asked me to read her another. and another. after a while, i asked if i could pray for her, and she nodded with such eagerness. as we were praying, she began weeping again. this time, she wasn't hyperventilating though-- i could tell that she had a new peace and desperation within her. i asked her if she would like to come meet me on my lunch hour every week to study the bible with me. it was the first time during the night that i had seen her smile. i scheduled her weekly appointments to see me-- but rather than discuss her healthcare, i want to discuss with her the prescription that Jesus gave us. i want to make lunch for us, because not only do i want her to be my patient, but i want to be her friend.
lastly, i asked her if she went to church. she told me she couldn't, because she didn't have a ride. i invited her to come with me, offering to pick her up, and honestly, i have never in my whole life seen anyone that excited to go to church in that moment. not even a new believer. it's gonna be challenging-- she lives at least 25 minutes away, but i really do hope that she comes with me one of these weeks. please pray for her!
seriously, wow. i was so blown away by God tonight. He is opening doors and He is SO GOOD!!!
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my sacrifice, o God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, you, God, will not despise. Psalm 51:17
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