recovering a piece of my past

i'm good at forgetting the past. there are formative moments in my life that i would never want to relive again, even if you paid me a million dollars. more specifically, the loss of a close loved one. the trouble with that is that it isn't just one embarrassing or humiliating moment that can be easily forgotten and all is fine again. it's forgetting every memory so it's less painful.

about a year ago, i resolved to not let myself continue to do that. to not be the girl in denial, but a woman who confronts her past and present issues. so in an effort to learn about my childhood and my mother and family before she passed away, it's required a lot of hard conversations with my dad. digging and asking uncomfortable questions-- because i'm sure it's just as painful for him to recount them to me.

a few months ago, i saw a piece of art on my bookshelf at home, shown above. for some reason, i remember the woman we acquired it from. but i only vaguely remember why we knew her. or why we had a relationship with her. but on the back, a sticker read: "This item was handcrafted especially for you by Jan Cundiff -- keep stepping in the Light." curious, i decided to e-mail my dad, because i feel like she played a key role in my journey to knowing Christ:

Subject: do you remember

Message:

dad, do you remember jan and stewart from indiana? i was staring at the little framed cut out flowers that they made for us the other day, and wondering what happened to them... and i found them online... [link removed]

were they missionaries? or how did we meet them? just thought it was interesting to find them online.... seems like they're still in Columbus! :)

a few days later, the answer came in a reply:

I am so busy these days and sorry for the slow reply. This week is our church Evangelical event (Friday, Saturday & Sunday) and I have to coordinate the entire event.

I still remember Jan & Stewart. If I remember correct, Stewart is the bishop of Southern Baptist Church Alliance. They are very active in church activities. We knew them because of learning English as Second Language class. They also help minority in Columbus area finding church for a regular worship location. etc.

Dad

wow. had we not met them, i'm not sure if i'd know Christ today. back in 1992, my dad spoke poor english. in efforts to improve his english for work, he met this american couple who had a heart for international students and started meeting them weekly for ESL lessons that they held in their home. (i believe my dad learned english through reading the bible.) eventually, he became more interested in church, when they connected my dad to a local chinese church. this became my first experience of what "church" was. though it took my parents another 6 years to accept Christ from that time, this was an important piece of our family's life.

wow. it's so easy for me to write off spending time doing indirect service in hopes of eventually having the opportunity to share the gospel someday, but this story really humbled me. truth is, that's how my parents came to know Christ, and that's how i came to know Christ. my dear friends at the Ann Arbor MLC, i have a renewed heart for the service you do there.

jan and stewart, thanks for all that you do. thanks for having faith for us even when we couldn't have it for ourselves.