a bad or good place

one of my friends recently wrote a legit blog post on the busyness of life. and quite frankly, every sentiment she expresses in her post i can relate to having felt exactly the same way at one point or another... (amen, sister.)

but what stuck out to me most was the part where she says, "you're in a bad place when..." 

it wasn't so much what the determinants identifying when i'm in a bad place that actually struck me-- though i can relate to those times as well, but more just the fact that she so openly admitted to recognizing she was in a bad place. (and perhaps a little bit also partially the fact that i had been eagerly awaiting her next post.)

i think one of the greatest frustrations i often have is after recognizing that i'm in a bad place, i think this "season" of bad placed-ness will just pass... and that one day i'll be old enough to be in a "good place".. or if i just fight hard enough or long enough, one day i'll get to the days of being in a "good place". 

...not so much so, i realize.

she's way ahead of me in terms of years, maturity, life-stage, and christ-followership. she's someone i truly look up to. and even yet, it's still possible to be in a "bad place". it's a pretty sobering thought. and i don't think God intends for us to just skim through the "bad places" in life in wait for the better days ahead. i'm realizing that he purposefully brings these "bad places" up in different seasons, young and old alike, immature and mature, so that he can do deep heart surgery. because he loves us that much, and he knows exactly what we need: and he knows we need it in that season; he knows what will keep us coming crawling back to him for a deeper intimacy. 

it's extremely humbling for me-- he doesn't have to do any of this. he could easily leave us alone and allow the numb indifference within us to become complacent and settle for the worldly comforts. but perhaps in fact, because of His Grace, what seems like "bad places" could actually be "good places" in disguise. 

i think it's time to face the "bad places" in repentance of the reality of my heart's true depravity... Lord, help me. take me back. i long to remain in Your Presence.