empty

empty. in the midst of running between back-to-back meetings all day on monday, i caught a glimpse of my fuel gauge, which looked like the image above. unfortunately, i had packed everything in so tightly that not only did i not have time to stop for gas, but i was running late. 

usually, i use the time in my car in between meetings to "prepare" for the next one-- praying, processing ideas, going over the "agenda" if there is one. but monday, i found myself constantly calculating how many more miles i had left before i would be stuck on the side of the highway. and when i got to my meetings, i was frazzled and slightly in distress. i was driving on this "blind faith" that i knew was not genuine faith because it was bound to run out soon. 

i wonder sometimes if this is how i am when i am running on empty spiritually-- i become self-sufficient and calculative in fear of running out, frazzled and distressed because i've lost sight of the bigger picture. instead of stopping to get fueled up, all attempts to keep myself out of the red is in vain. it's the worst feeling in the world. 

the coolest part? i didn't even have to refuel, or pay a single penny this time to get reminded. when i pulled up into the gas station on a bitterly cold and windy tuesday morning, the guy on the other side of the pump came up to my window and said, "stay in, i'll take care of this one for you." before i could respond, he took out his credit card, opened my fuel tank, and filled it up for me, free of charge. i didn't even have to get out of my car. 

this is God, when i am running on spiritual "E". he comes and fills me up-- all i need to do is to take the time to stop to get refueled, no matter how late it will make me.