not superstitious

i still remember the summer morning i woke up to an unexpectedly empty house exactly 11 years ago. the morning felt quieter than usual, and something felt different though i couldn't put a finger on what. as i crept downstairs to see who was there, i peered around the staircase into the family room and saw my two younger brothers playing together, quietly pushing trucks around the living room floor. i looked up to see my aunt sitting and watching when she broke the news to me. 

really? it was friday july 13, 2001. i knew it was coming, and the thought had crossed my mind that it'd be ironic if it actually happened... and it did. 

i'm still not superstitious, and several friday-the-13ths have come and gone since then without much drama, but this is the first friday july 13th since 11 years ago. 

it's a weird feeling today. i still miss you, mom.