time is not a factor

i think growing up, i often thought that by letting time pass, things would get better... things would happen... i'd learn  how to be the responsible, mature adult my parents were. the older i get, the more i see that this is rarely the case. in fact, time is not the sole factor of any of these things happening. 

i used to think that when i got older: 

• i'll be a better listener. 
• i'd be more mature.
• i'd know how to make decisions.
• magically, i'd know how to cut the lawn.
• etiquette and acting mature comes naturally.
• loving people, conflict resolution, and being patient would be easy.
• all my issues would go away.

ummm, false to all of the above. as i was talking to my 58 year old co-worker the other day, and we were talking about how to better attend to the needs of our patients. we both agreed that it boiled down to one thing: we all just want to be heard and understood. most of the time, the treatment and medicine comes secondary to the patient's primary need of having someone to listen to them... while sad that they've found their remedy in the clinic nowadays, that is just the reality of our society: this world is filled with lonely people who desire to be known and heard. 

so i asked her how could we become better listeners to our patients-- after all, she's a mother to 3, grandmother to 2, and been a nurse for over 30 years. sounds like she'd be a well-seasoned listener to me. we read books that tell us how to be better listeners, but let's be honest here: at the end of the day, we're bad listeners. she said to me, "you'd think that you get better at listening with age, but let me be the first to admit to you that it actually gets worse as you get older." her husband is a certified spiritual counselor at their church, and yet she says that he is the world's most terrible listener. he is trained to listen to people's issues, but at the end of the day, we're all terrible at listening. 

time is not the sole factor. 

often, we say, "only time can tell." "you just need time." but unless we're actively engaging ourselves with growing in Jesus Christ, ultimately he is the only one that can change us, through his love and in his timing.

recently, i've been learning that Love is: 

1. commitment.
2. painful. when i care that much about someone, their words and actions will hurt. to love them back, dying to yourself will hurt. just know that it will never hurt as much as when Christ died on the cross.
3. demonstrated. it's easy to say that i love someone, but until it is demonstrated, those words hold little value.

all three of these things were repeatedly confirmed throughout Passion Week, when Christ demonstrated his love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  [romans 5:8]

We all need more of Christ's Love.